The Ick Factor

October 18, 2010 at 2:02 pm (Baby on the Brain) (, , , )

Getting pregnant without a guy can be great–you get to choose the donor, the physical and mental characteristics of your baby’s bio-dad. But it’s also overwhelming, that choice. (An aside here, the plan as it stands is for me to have our first child, my girlfriend to have our second, and then maybe one of us will want to have another? We’re definitely set on having at least 2 though.) I want our kid to be taller than us (not hard, we’re both barely over 5 feet), smart, artistic, athletic, and hopefully not dealing with being the fat kid most of his/her life. So our donor has to be Asian, tall, athletic, high IQ, and skinny. What narrows it down even further (because that’s not being too over specific at all) is that our children would preferably be part Japanese, part Taiwanese. We’d prefer using the same donor for both of us, meaning that donor has to be part Japanese, part Taiwanese. Of course, not many donors list being Taiwanese even if they are. They check the Chinese box instead. Frustrating. And we don’t know of any so far that are part J and T. So now what do we do? Different donors for each of us? Same donor but then that changes our kids’ ethnicity? Is that even something we care about, really?

Other choices: my OB/GYN thinks that we could do the insemination at home. I don’t know if I could actually do that though. My tolerance for anything even closely resembling sperm is -100%. So handling it or putting it in my body? Much more likely to not make me vomit if it’s in a clinical setting. Cheaper, yes, doing it at home. But I don’t think that’s something I want to do.

Known donor. Like, a friend or relative. Complicated. And I don’t know how to ask someone to do that for us. Yes, I’d like our children to be parts of both of us, but in this case I think it’s going to matter more that they’re brought up by us, not that they’re biologically part me and part my girlfriend.


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