Me and My Big Mouth
Tuesday night at rehearsal one of my friends asked if I was pregnant yet. Um, no, but thanks for asking! I need to be more circumspect in who I tell what and try to remember to keep my mouth shut. It’s not that I don’t want people to know. It’s just that there’s now this level of expectation, this pressure, because some people know that we want to have a baby. I’m sure my friend will be nothing but supportive with regard to our attempts, she and her ex went through a lot to conceive their daughter. But I don’t know if I’m ready to go through the whole process with my girlfriend, let alone our other friends.
I’m superstitious, too. So I don’t think I’ll tell anyone even if I do get pregnant, for the first, oh, 12-16 weeks or so. Ok, I might tell my parents. And my best friends. Oh, god, am I going to be able to keep this a secret? And what if something happens? I don’t think I could deal with telling people if I miscarry or something happens with the pregnancy.
So much to do if we want to start insemination in March or April. I’d still like to lose another 15 pounds, I’ve got to get my OB/GYN to fill out some paperwork, we need to find a donor, for chrissakes! I’d like to have more than one choice. Weigh our options. But that’s not looking so good right now. We’re convinced that we want an anonymous donor. I don’t think I could ask any of my guy friends to donate, nor do I think family members would be appropriate, given my/our medical histories. Here’s a perfect chance to have a baby who will hopefully start out life with only 1/2 the hereditary garbage–from my family he/she’d get heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, cancer, you name it, someone’s got it or had it in my family.
In other news, I went to my doctor yesterday, and I’ve lost 23 pounds since I last saw him 19 months ago. Of course, I had mono then and was still in school and eating like crap. We discussed my allergies and asthma and he’s putting me on another medication that will hopefully get rid of the wheezing and get my breathing back to normal. I also got a flu shot which hurts like a motherfucker right now, it’s swollen and tender and my whole arm is uncomfortable. The shot could also explain this horrible headache. Anyway, I’m also supposed to fill prescriptions for an antibiotic and go back on a low dose of a beta blocker to try and minimize my migraines.
This whole “taking better care of myself” is hard work.
I Can’t Wait for an Actual Baby in Our House
The one that’s here now? She’s going to be 34 in 2 weeks. Yes, I’m talking about my girlfriend. She woke up with a sore throat this morning and hasn’t stopped whining yet. Yes, she blames me completely because I had a sore throat last week, and (don’t tell her this) I’m pretty sure she’s right. Now, I’m not expecting that she’ll be her normal, sweet, caring self when she’s not feeling well, I know I’m no angel when I’m not feeling well, but come on! “My throat hurts. It’s all your fault. I don’t feel good. I feel yucky.” Ten minutes later, the same 4 sentences. Repeat for 12 hours.
And don’t expect her to do anything–she started the dishwasher this morning but was apparently looking for some plastic container. An hour later she asked where the plastic container was. Um, in the recycle bin? “I’ve been looking for it for hours.” I suppose I should think about improving my mind reading skills. I also need a refresher course on patience and empathy. But when I asked for 3 hours, “Do you want me to go get you some dayquil?” and I got no response except for the occasional “I don’t feel good.” I wanted to scream. I couldn’t even get mad at her for forgetting to flush the toilet. Really? You don’t feel well so you forget seemingly automatic things like flushing? Tearing my hair out seemed my only option. Instead, I made her the only food she’ll eat when she’s not feeling well: ramen with an egg.
So 2 hours ago, I asked again, “do you want dayquil?” She asked, “Will that make me feel better? Can you get me some sore throat-stopping stuff?”
Ugh. I love you, quit being such a baby.
I ventured to CVS, returned with her meds and cough drops, fed them to her (complete with, “Sit up, you can’t drink water lying down.”), emptied the dishwasher, did the other dishes, cleaned the toaster oven, made her tea. Now I’m letting her listen to This American Life and watch tv and I’m not even yelling at her to turn it down. Even though I can’t think. I think I’m going to bed early. After I’ve fed her more dayquil and tea.
What are we going to do when there’s a real live, screaming, crying BABY in our house? Do we both have to become adults? Can we take turns? I’m pretty sure that neither of us are going to be feeling 100% when the kid gets here. I think I’m going to make a sign: SUCK IT UP. Probably more than one. How about one for every room?
Swallowing is Overrated
It’s funny how a few days can get away from you. I started this week feeling a bit under the weather, a slight sore throat in the morning that seemed to clear up as the day progressed. I figured it was allergy related, since southern California is so good with frequent and drastic weather changes (I usually don’t pay attention to 30+ degree weather variances, but in a 24 hour period? Really?) and I’m usually a bit sinus-y and uncomfortable when my body’s trying to adjust to “weather”. But Tuesday the sore throat was more pronounced and I started coughing. I went to rehearsal Tuesday night and my voice was there for a while, and then it really wasn’t. Yesterday was full on yuck–sore throat to the point I was having trouble swallowing, coughing up nasty bits, sinus pain, and stuffy head. So here we are today, and it’s more of the same. Add to that the fact that my period started this morning and you’re looking at one pissed off, pretty miserable, freaking uncomfortable person.
On a side note, I bought a basal thermometer to take my temps in the morning. I’ve been using it for about a week, just to start getting into the habit. It’s been interesting to see that my temps vary from 97.59 all the way down to 96.9 yesterday morning. And the damn thing beeps–10 times! I really think 5 is sufficient. Or give me a way to turn it off so that it doesn’t wake my girlfriend.
Mochi & Mooncakes 