My Ideal Child

November 19, 2010 at 9:15 pm (Baby on the Brain, Navel Gazing, TGF, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

This is not a wishlist. At least I don’t think of it that way. It’s more of an “I Hope That…” list for the child who is still pretty much a twinkle in his/her mothers’ eyes.

Yesterday during lunch my girlfriend and I were talking general timelines of when we thought we might start trying this whole insemination thing. Not that we’ve chosen a donor. Or even set up an initial consultation. I suppose those things will happen after the 1st of the year. It’s looking like it’s full steam ahead in the first quarter of 2011, though. Slightly queasy at the thought but excited, too. I don’t know whether I’d like a girl or a boy. Ideally, we’d have one of each but for now we’re concentrating on the “having the baby” part. I do think there are some character traits I’d like for our child to have, regardless of gender.

I’d love our child to be outgoing, not introverted to the point of a social disorder, like me. I’d like it if she learned to be open and empathetic like her other mother as well as somehow inherit my girlfriend’s work ethic and drive. I want her to speak 3 languages (English, Mandarin & Spanish) and be able to converse with her grandmother.

I don’t want our kids to have the same hang ups that my girlfriend and I do about weight and food. I want them to be healthy, active, and look to us for comfort, not chocolate or french fries. I’ve no idea how to accomplish this since I still go for the ice cream or any type of junk food when I’m sad, but that’s something I’ll work to get past.

I’m going to try not to be so opinionated, too. I know I’m judgmental and I’m sort of a prick about it but I don’t want our kids to think they can’t talk to me or that I’ll be closed-minded if they want to be, oh, I don’t know, straight or something. Ugh, I knew I should’ve started therapy a long time ago.


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I Hope I’m Not The Kind Of Parent

October 24, 2010 at 9:40 pm (Randomness) (, , , )

Who has to do everything for their child. Sure, I want to make sure that our child is well cared for and that he or she doesn’t have too many hardships. But I know that I’m spoiled and that I will probably spoil our child, too. That said, here’s where I draw the line:  I will make sure that our child knows how to clean–vacuum, scrub a toilet, dust, etc.–and how to do their own laundry. Oh, and iron. Making our child self sufficient is important to me, since I get the feeling that some kids, once they’re on their own, have no idea how to approach the ‘simple’ things that I learned growing up. Our children are going to have chores. Dishes, garbage, cleaning, in addition to things like keeping their own rooms clean and doing their homework and eating their vegetables.

Hell, I might even teach them how to sew. At least how to replace a button or stitch a patch on something.

Unless our children grow up to be independently wealthy, they’re not going to have housekeepers or other people who will do these things for them. I plan to give them plenty of lessons about how to be neat and clean. And if they choose to then live in filth, I’ll just have to lament about another thing at which I’ve failed my children.

Oh, and there’s a HUGE difference between being clean and being neat. Clean means yes, you can go into my bathroom and not question my own personal hygiene. I’m not neat by any stretch of the imagination. Piles of stuff are cluttered about our home, waiting to be sorted and put away. But I vacuum every week. I do the dishes daily. I clean the bathroom. A lot.

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