Grow for Me

March 26, 2011 at 3:20 pm (Randomness, Weekend Update)

It’s spring. Everything’s blooming, although we’re having a rather rainy couple of weeks in sunny Los Angeles. In the midst of the rain and trying to get my apartment finished and the bookkeeping I have to do before Friday, I spent about an hour yesterday selecting plants and a couple of new pots at Home Depot. Spent a little too much money on the pots, but I really like them. I buy the smallest plants they have because they’re the cheapest, and I don’t feel so bad when I kill them, which I do with alarming frequency. Oh, I’d love to say I have a green thumb, but it’s more black than green, kind of a dark olive-gray. But I enjoy plants, and surprisingly, I like playing in the dirt. I think I’ve figured out that when there are no worms, slugs, or snails involved, I’m much happier with said dirt. And the only bugs I have to deal with in potting soil are the stupid plant mites. I’m not fond of dirty fingernails and cleaning up afterwards is not really fun, either, but the couple of hours I spent repotting older plants and potting the new ones was…soothing.

So if I’m going to analyze this whole plant thing I’d venture to say I want to see things of my own making start to grow because we’re not yet on that 100% path to the baby thing. Then there’s the whole fertility, soil, blah, blah, blah…Also, I need something to take care of, given that my girlfriend is out of town for 2 weeks and when she’s not around I don’t leave my house or talk to anyone. So…plants. I haven’t started talking to them, yet. I have had that song from Little Shop of Horrors going through my head all day, though.

Hopefully they’ll live for a while. They’re mostly palms and tropicals but I did get a hydrangea because I missed having them (they lined the exterior wall of our old apartment, you know, where we liked our neighbors and never had to call the cops and stuff). I do have one plant that’s managed to stay alive, despite my best efforts, for around 4 1/2 years. Even when I neglect him for weeks and he gets all wilted he seems to always come back like a champ. My father is jealous – he has the same type of plant but it never looks as healthy as Bob. I bought Bob some friends to put in his pot and fill in some bare spots so hopefully he’ll stay happy and healthy.

Incidentally, did you know drilling holes into ceramic causes an unholy screeching sound? I think I did, given that I sawed through some tiles in my aunt’s bathroom a few years ago, but I’d blissfully forgotten the experience. So when I drilled drainage holes into 2 of the pots yesterday, my ears rang for about 5 hours afterwards. Nice. I have to drill the holes, though. I tend to drown plants. I try to be disciplined and not overwater, but I forget or they start to look droopy or somesuch thing and I think, “Hey, I’ll just give it a little bit more water…” and before you know it, drowned, dead plant.

Here’s to keeping all the plants alive for a while, and oxygenating and cleaning the air in my house without having to turn on my air filters.

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Anti-Social Behavior

March 22, 2011 at 11:02 pm (Baby on the Brain, TGF)

I should not be left home alone. If left home alone, my usual MO is to sit in total silence for hours at a time. Since my parents left on Sunday afternoon, I’ve not spoken to anyone. I went downstairs to do some work yesterday but today I avoided everyone and holed up in the apartment until it was time to go to rehearsal. Didn’t even answer the phone, though I knew the guy calling me was outside. I could hear him as he left a message. Wonder if he heard the phone ringing in my room. Very thin walls and single pane windows, you know.

I’m not a social person by nature. I like to stay home, I don’t like to talk on the phone, I rarely go to new places by myself. Have I always been this way? I don’t remember. What was I like when I was single? I don’t remember that, either. So if I was single now, I’m not sure if this is how I’d really be or if I feel like I’ve nothing to do since my girlfriend isn’t here. Whatever. She’ll be back in 2 weeks. That’s a very, very long time from now. And I haven’t spoken to her since she left Saturday night. She’s extremely busy with a conference in DC and hasn’t had time to do anything but work since she’s been there, I know, but it’s weird not speaking to her for this long.

Oh, PMS, how I hate you. Lonely, bloated, I was eating everything in sight until yesterday. Today I’ve been hungry all day and kind of just…sad. And then I get sadder when I realize I don’t really DO anything when my girlfriend isn’t around. Yay, pity party!

Anyway, to add to the sad, today I read this blog for hours. I probably shouldn’t when I’m totally PMSing but I couldn’t help it. So then I cried for these people and how hard it’s been for them. And then it made me think, do I really want to go through something like that to have a child? And at rehearsal tonight we were talking about traveling in 2012, to 2 conferences. What if we have a child – are we going to be able to travel? Will we want to travel? Would I still be singing with this group if we have to care for a kid? I know I can’t commit to any sort of thing that requires a non-refundable monetary deposit. But I’m not ready to tell people why I’m hesitant about planning something that’s 15 months away…

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Back on the Wagon

March 21, 2011 at 9:58 pm (Healthy...?, Randomness)

I worked out tonight for the first time since…early February, I think. The motivator? My choir is going to be used in a pilot that shoots next Friday. I have 12 days to not look like a beached whale on tv. That means cardio & abs every day and weights every other day. And no more See’s Candy. Or pizza. Or anything else that my parents brought with them when they stayed here this past weekend.

 

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Nothing to See Here…

March 20, 2011 at 10:53 pm (Healthy...?)

When my health insurance stopped, I stopped taking my basal body temperature in the mornings, figuring I didn’t really need to be tracking my ovulation that closely. No insurance, no kid. At least for the time being. But I have been more “in tune” with my body and noticing little things, here and there, changes that I figure I used to just ignore.

I’m more tired than usual around the time that I ovulate. At least that’s the going theory. Combine this with a hike in my…libido…and I’m a pretty cranky person. Meh. Randy and too tired to do a damn thing about it.

My girlfriend downloaded an app to track her cycles. It’s got all these icons that you use to signify how you’re feelingĀ (how swollen are your breasts? choose the small, medium, or large cherry-topped cupcake!). Comical.

Me? I continue to want to eat everything in sight. This is getting boring. I’ve got to find out what to do about my insurance. And I have to finish the apartment downstairs.

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Nothing New

March 5, 2011 at 9:35 pm (Uncategorized)

So…it’s been a while since I posted anything but really, there’s not much to say. I’ve submitted resumes for a few jobs, done a little bit of work for some friends, been working on our downstairs apartment. Sleeping a lot.

My father said I was fat. Yay. Way for the positive reinforcement, Pops. Love you, too. Consequently, I’ve been eating more than normal. Food issues? Me?

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