Personal Evolution

February 24, 2011 at 10:16 pm (Baby on the Brain)

My thoughts on getting pregnant seem to be changing. No, that doesn’t mean I no longer want to have a child. It means that the getting pregnant part is…evolving.  Back when we had health insurance for the both of us, my girlfriend and I were all for signing up with our local cryobank, picking an anonymous donor from their list, and *poof*, there’s a baby in my belly. Ok, I realize I’m probably oversimplifying the insemination part here, only because if I dwell on it I’ll freak out and, hey, gross myself out, too.

So back to this pregnancy thing. Without health insurance (even though our policy didn’t cover fertility issues), the expense of having a baby via artificial insemination is astronomical. Not that we can even start if I don’t have a regular OB/GYN. Which I don’t until my individual insurance plan kicks in on March 1st. There are forms to be filled out, interviews to be conducted, and maybe, just maybe, vials of bio-dad to be placed in our very own “baby daddy” vault at the cryobank.

Which makes me think going the turkey baster route isn’t such a bad idea. Buy an ovulation kit, pee on a stick, and once it gives the high sign, drive over to our friends’ house, and receive their generous donation. Now don’t go getting all excited there–the two gay boys will produce the necessary stuff and hand it over, whereupon it will be, um, implanted…in my body, which will be waiting in the next room. The boys have volunteered to help out and at first we weren’t sure we wanted to have babies with them. Ultimately, we’d prefer an Asian donor. And one who is anonymous, so as not to deal with legal ickiness. But is that really what’s important here?

My cousin’s friend had a “perfect kid” because she got to choose everything about him. Is that what we’re trying to do? When it all comes down to it, if I can’t have my girlfriend’s baby, does it matter who the father is? Or what the kid’s ethnicity is? It’s going to be half me, wouldn’t I rather the other half be someone known so I know who I blame when my kid sets off firecrackers in the girls locker room or hacks into the Pentagon? I think half Asian, half white kids are cuter, anyway. And most times they end up with pretty good skin and hair. Not to mention those round eyes that are so coveted by most of my family.

Definitely cheaper. Definitely more legal headaches that could happen. This obviously needs more discussion between the 4 of us. Good grief. Talking about it makes me squeamish. Guess I’ll have to get over it if this is what we really want.


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