I Have a Big Mouth

November 10, 2010 at 12:07 am (Baby on the Brain, TGF) (, , , , )

I have a problem not telling people every single thing about me, my relationships, my friends, etc. I can’t keep a secret. I’m not a private person by nature. So if you ask me a question, I’ll usually answer it and give you more information than you ever wanted to know. People think I gossip. I don’t, really, I just don’t think what people tell me is ever private unless you tell me so specifically.

My girlfriend is quite the opposite. For all that she has a “public” persona whose face is all over numerous blogs and who serves on a board of directors for a prominent theater company in L.A., she doesn’t tell just anyone her business.

This creates conflicts in our relationship. More to the point, it pisses her off royally when I say stuff I’m not supposed to. I’m not discreet. At all.

Which is why, after telling 3 people in rehearsal tonight that we might try to have a baby, I had to then tell them, “Don’t say anything to anyone. My girlfriend’s gonna kill me if she finds out I told you.” Yes, I say that a lot. One would think I’d be better at keeping my mouth shut. But no, I’m an open book. I say what’s on my mind and rarely do I think before I say it.

This is my leading theory on why I’m not very employable, by the way.

But so far, I’ve not told anyone about this blog. I’m thinking that I want to keep it anonymous, even though my avatar looks eerily like me. I’ve not even told my girlfriend that I’m writing here. Maybe that’ll come up when we actively start trying to conceive. Maybe it won’t. Because I’m not really sure I want her to read what I’ve written so far, and I don’t want to start self-editing or leaving things out because I don’t want her to feel bad. Or worse, get mad at me.

So I suppose I need another sign. This one will say: KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

Incidentally, the whole baby conversation started because I wore something kind of tight to rehearsal, and got a few comments about my weight loss. I said I’d like to lose another 30 if we’re going to try to have a baby. Yep. Big. Mouth. Dumb. Me.

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